We've all heard it before. It just wasn't meant to be, or it was. Frustrating isn't it? I guess it just depends on what side of the fence you are on. We try to make excuses of why things happen in order to find some semblance of sanity in these circumstances.
When two people break up someone always says "it wasn't meant to be". Generally speaking, it would probably be more realistic to say that you weren't compatible. For the one that is still in love this saying isn't very comforting. And for the one that breaks up with you, it's an easy out I guess. People always get together initially on attraction. Having a few things in common helps too. But we all know it takes more then that to make a relationship grow. Much more.
There is no way that every couple that start in no way finish. Compatibility is funny thing. You can take tests, and even
check astrology to see if you were meant to be,
but there is no real answer. Yes, you can get the basics out of the way, but no one can figure out love and why one person loves another. Meant to be? I don't think so as it sounds so cosmic. Tell me that two people weren't compatible is the truth of the matter.
And the same goes for the opposite argument. If someone says "they were meant to be" what is that statement saying? It just says they are compatible and they love each other. The cosmos isn't picking mates for anyone. If it did, with all the divorces, it would only be right fifty percent of the time.
It's tough to make a go of it. Many people date for years, and then realize that, long term, they just don't work. But you can also look at it as who can be with anyone that long and get along? This is where unconditional love comes in to play. You either make the commitment, or not. As with all the divorces, many people when unhappy just bail. Life is short they say. So is marriage just a long date?
But you need to understand life a little too. Just as a tree grows so do we. And if a tree is to grow well rounded, full and healthy, it will need to be pruned. As in life, it will need pruned to grow. The pruning of a tree takes away branches and in time they will grow back. The tree will become stronger and fuller. And our lives will get pruned also as we experience losses in love, jobs, friends, and family, to name a few.
This "cutting away" of things in our lives will make us stronger and more resilient. And in love it is the same way. You will experience the pruning, the loss, of people you love but it will change you. It will make you stronger.
Do we resist it? Sure we do. No one like to feel loss. But there are some things you can't change. For whatever reason you have lost the love in your life, life is pruning you and will make you happier in the long run.
I know you say that you have known people that dated and they were so good together. But they broke up, they went off to college, maybe joined the military, their families moved away, they married other people, and years later they got back together. People may say that they loved each other so much that they were meant to be. No, what happened was life did some pruning, changed their lives, and now they are ready and compatible for each other. They weren't ready then. Now they are, as love remembers.