Starting over are two words that scare the shit out of most people. I know, I know, they say that by doing this that a whole new world of the unknown and excitement is there for you. That sounds like a bunch of crap, doesn't it?
There are many times that this is forced upon us, whether it's from a relationship, or something else that has happened in your life. Starting over can be devastating for most, especially if you are a little older. I mean, who in the hell wants to start over willingly? If it is so great, everyone would do it, right?
Starting over in relationships, or in life, is usually forced upon us. Yes, some do come to a point in their lives where they traveled a road that they finally see that what they were doing did not fit them anymore, and they chose to change, but that is rare.
Forced change can be very difficult, heartbreaking, and take you to a point a times where you just want to give up on life. You've had it, and can't take any more grief. No, I can't let you do that, and I am going to tell you why.
Because life is a journey. And yes, you wish this wasn't what you wanted, and yes, you just as soon this happen to someone else, and yes, the immortal question, why me!
Well, because if this didn't happen you would not become the person you will become. Hardships are plentiful in this world, no doubt. Everyone has a story, and many that would devastate any normal human being. Can it be worse? It can always be worse, I promise.
Starting over is just what it is, a new beginning. But it doesn't seem that way does it? Are you starting over because of divorce? Maybe unrequited love? The problem with starting is those damn memories. Remembering how it used to be, or remembering how someone once loved you, keeps the hurt fresh and delays our future.
But how to stop those damn memories! You will always remember but as time passes the memories won't hurt like they do now. You may even think of them fondly in time. I know you say, never! But do yourself a favor, never say never. As things happen in our lives, and as you get older year by year, you will change you feelings about many many things.
Starting over brings with it many times a whole new set of problems, and you already have enough of those, right? How do you deal with this pain, where are you going to live, how will I afford to live on my own, I'm too old and no one will want or desire me, I have children and who is going to want me with that, I'm over weight, and the list goes on and on.
I understand these are difficult times, so let yourself get mad, and you are allowed to grieve, but not too long. Little by little, a baby step at a time, you will do things on your own. And you will do things for you, start to gain strength in yourself, be proud of yourself, and before you know it, you will have changed into a different you.
Does it happen as fast as I just wrote it? No way! But it happens. Even if you fight it, it happens. Starting over will maybe move you to a different city, a different country, a different job, and in the arms of another who loves you, and you them.
You can't possibly think that there is not another in this world that you don't find attractive? There are many out there. More then you could ever meet. It's that you met this person first, but another is waiting to meet you. Shutting yourself off from live and becoming a hermit will only delay the meeting.
Sure some people never meet another. But I think what it really is, some don't want to get out and meet people. Some don't want another relationship. Not everyone wants a partner you know. What do you want out of life?
Yes, tears along the way will come, and the stress may take a hold of you sometimes along the way, but have faith in yourself, and the things you want out of life. No one said it was going to be easy you know. Don't worry about the person next to you and what's happening to them. You just need to worry about you.
Memories, you will always have them, but will become more distant as each day passes and are a part of life, as love remembers.
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