...love remembers

The Kiss

So what's in the kiss really? You would be surprised! Or maybe you wouldn't. A kiss tells a big story I think, unless you have never really been kissed. In my life I don't remember guys talking about how good of a kisser their date was. But, I can tell you that I have overheard women talk in depth about how good, or bad, of a kisser her date is, or maybe was.

The kiss tells so much. You feel the compatibility of each other I think. If you enjoy, truly enjoy kissing each other, then it's a great beginning for the two of you. Do all couples who kiss great together end up together? I have no idea. But what a beginning! You feel the person. You can feel them inside you it seems, if the kiss goes well. And you want more, and more, and more.

The kiss is so passionate. Whether it is long and wet, or short little kisses all over their face, it is our human emotions at their finest. Can anyone turn down a kiss from what they interpret as a good kisser? NO! The kiss has so much to do with relationships. You will find that how good the kiss is with one another, will depend on how far your relationship goes. Even if you get along well, the kiss is a basic part of human sexuality. And relationships are in part about sex. And depend on who you talk to, a large part. Kissing is something you will do daily. You will kiss hello. You will kiss goodbye. And you will kiss just to kiss. The kiss tells your partner how much you like them or love them. A man and a woman can tell the difference in the kiss from their partner. Each will know based on the emotion and loving touch, if the kiss is sincere.

You will also find that two people can be friends, and like the company of each other. Maybe you really never thought of you two becoming close. And maybe, just maybe, one day your curiousity will peak and a situation will lend itself to an opportunity for you to experience "the kiss" together. And you may just be surprised on how that one kiss could bring you together. Just maybe.

Many will tell you that they can tell if things are starting to go wrong in their relationship by the kiss they get from their partner. The kiss tells all I believe. And in this day and age, it seems that the kiss is being underrated. Who taught sensuality and romance to this generation? It seems that this generation is all about the act of sex without the passion?

Do you people know what you are missing when you leave out the importance of the kiss? Every generation believes that they are sexual and sensual then the generation that preceded them. I think this generations train went off the tracks, and needs to get back on.

As a nightclub owner and operator for many years, my music format always included at least two, and maybe three slow songs per hour. As human sexuality is all about "boy meets girl", it was imperative to play these songs so two people could connect in a more personal level. By doing so, it lent itself to the opportunity to experience the kiss.

Today, if you go to nightclubs, you will find that slow songs are never played. Where is the opportunity to get close? Where is the opportunity for the kiss? Where is the opportunity for romance? Today's generation is missing out on one of the best experiences that life can offer them, and it's the kiss!

candy hearts

We all have different thought on what makes a good kisser. One thing for sure is you will know it when it happens. And the funny thing is you will miss kissing that person as much as you miss making love to them. They call it "the unforgotten kiss".You will remember this one the rest of your life. I promise!

And let's not forget the moments before the kiss itself. You move so close, you pause for a moment, you can anticipate, you can't wait for the moment to happen, and then your lips touch. Now this is what connecting is all about.

Below are two articles you should read. One from an extremely talented woman in northern Virginia that has that ability to put romance and desire into words, and one from a man, a professional journalist for the Washington Post, that makes us all think about what love used to be about. I think you will enjoy.


by K.C. FitzGibbons

I miss the meeting of mouths. Hesitant and delicate at first, testing? Challenging. Then the confidence builds up, a nibble at the corner of lips, sucking the lower lip in and releasing it was a teasing swipe of tongue. The duality of my mouth melting into yours. I miss the different modes of kissing. Sometimes tender and soft, like time stopped and all there is is this slow burning heat. Other times voracious, like I am your favorite treat and it?s been a long time coming. Maybe playful, feeling your lips curve against mine. I miss it all.

I love kissing. I love the weight of someone on top of me, cradled in between my thighs as he slowly and thoroughly seduces my mouth. I love to nibble his lips and teasingly peck each corner, moving over his jaw line, trailing my tongue down his earlobe.

I love the type of kisses that start slow and start to burn. A delicate tongue, with a nice bite. I even like it when it gets rough and he is tugging my hair to arch my neck to mark the vulnerable nape of my neck.

The Kiss Is So TellingHow Humans Lock Lips Holds the Key to Our Hearts -- And So Much More

By Joel GarreauWashington Post Staff Writer Saturday, February 14, 2009; Page C01

Okay, so: the kiss. Here's what we know. It has major evolutionary advantage. Only the hottest and highest species do it. Yet among current humans, the future of the kiss seems an open question. In our liberated era, have we become so quick to get past the kiss and further into lovemaking that we have devalued the icons, wisdom and traditions of the ancestors? Have we diminished the meaning and memory of the lingering smooch, the languid summers of inter-labial osculation spit-swapping lip-lock? If so, this is a horrifying situation. It must be stopped. Good kissers of the world, unite.

* * *

"A kiss is a blast of information that you are sending out and information that you are receiving," says Helen Fisher, the Rutgers anthropologist who is the author of "Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love." "Basically it's a mate assessment tool. Much of the cortex is devoted to picking up sensations from around the lips, cheeks, tongue and nose. Out of 12 cranial nerves, five of them are picking up the data from around the mouth. "It is built to pick up the most sensitive feelings -- the most intricate tastes and smells and touch and temperature. And when you're kissing somebody, you can really hear them and see them and feel them. So kissing is not just kissing. It is a profound advertisement of who you are, what you want and what you can give."

"At the moment of the kiss, there are hard-wired mechanisms that assess health, reproductive status and genetic compatibility," says Gordon G. Gallup Jr., a professor of evolutionary psychology at the State University of New York at Albany who studies reproductive competition and the biology of interpersonal attraction. "Therefore, what happens during that first kiss can be a make-or-break proposition." For example, a woman can sense whether the man's immune system proteins are different from hers, thus increasing the odds of healthy offspring. "Women apparently are quite drawn to men who have differences rather than similarities in their histo-compatibility system. They pick it up by smell, and they can pick it up from kissing," says Fisher, who is also science adviser to Chemistry.com, a division of Match.com. Kissing thus not only conveys serious evolutionary advantage. It can dramatically alter the outcome of Saturday night.

A survey of 1,041 college students led by SUNY Albany's Gallup found that 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women reported at least once finding someone attractive only to discover after the first kiss that they were no longer interested. "I think we have evolved three distinctly different brain systems for mating and reproduction," Fisher says. "One is the sex drive. The second one is romantic love -- that elation, the craving, the obsessive thinking -- and the third is attachment, the sense of calm and security you can feel with a long-term partner.

"So what does kissing do? You're exchanging testosterone -- that can help to trigger the sex drive. If it's exciting and novel, it's likely to drive up dopamine -- that's associated with romantic love. And if it drives up oxytocin in long-term partners, it's triggering the attachment system. So any one of the three profoundly basic mating systems in the brain could be triggered by kissing."

Okay, but if kissing is all that important, why has kissing lost its iconic status? Why, according to the giant Gallup survey, do 52.9 percent of men and 14.6 percent of women (that high!) feel that they can readily skip the snog and dive right into the sack?

Why, today, can you no longer imagine a movie being made like "Casablanca," which pivots on the question of whether "a kiss is just a kiss"? Do fundamental things apply, as time goes by? Peck a Little

The meaning of a kiss has varied over the centuries. Saint Paul told us to "salute another with a holy kiss." That rapidly got out of hand. "By the high middle ages, the 'holy kiss' was given or exchanged in Christian rituals of baptism, ordination, the consecration of bishops, coronations, absolution of penitents and in the marriage ceremony," historian Craig Koslofsky told New Scientist. During the Reformation, Protestants found all this public kissing treacherous. Nonetheless, public displays of affection in England 400 years ago remained bold even by our standards. Foreign visitors commented on women of the household greeting complete strangers with a kiss on the mouth.

Compare that with today. In some quarters, you can't pay to get kissed. By all accounts, hookers avoid it specifically because it connotes attachment and intimacy. There is still plenty of ritual kissing. The pope's ring. The cup at Wimbledon. The Blarney Stone. The dice. There are also therapeutic kisses -- on a boo-boo to make it better. Kisses of death -- "The Godfather." And theatrical kissing: the chivalrous hand kiss, the Hollywood air kiss.

But those differ entirely from the legendary kisses of our previous century -- Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr in the surf and sand in "From Here to Eternity," oh my moon and stars. Kisses used to be trans-formative. The prince kisses Sleeping Beauty! The princess kisses the frog!

Kisses used to be iconic: illustrious, definitive, for the ages. Rodin's statue. The sailor and the nurse in Times Square at the end of World War II. Lady and the Tramp finishing the spaghetti. The memorable kisses of this young century, by contrast, are mainly those that are remarkable for examining the edges. Think "Brokeback Mountain." Or Madonna and Britney. Or in "Twilight," dancing with death -- making it with a vampire. Popular culture increasingly takes, at best, glancing interest in the meaning of a kiss. Harry Potter's first kiss was really meh. Kissing cute is for machines like WALL E and EVE. Sure, Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams won the 2005 Teen Choice Award for best rain-soaked kiss in "The Notebook." But in 2006, in "The Lake House," Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves attempt a homage to the legendary 1946 three-minute kissing sequence between Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman in Alfred Hitchcock's "Notorious." Their failure is an embarrassment. Its effect is entirely the opposite of the intent. It's like watching woodpeckers.

The biggest advance in film kisses in this generation is the "kiss cam." Any lull in a major sporting event, and the camera scans the crowd, zeroing in on two people who are supposed to be good sports and very publicly display their affection on the Jumbo Tron. Office co-workers? People of the same sex? Hilarity ensues.

"Staples at American sporting events are hot dogs, popcorn, and the 'kiss cam,' " writes "LastRow," a blogger on ArmchairGM. What does this mean? Has tonsil hockey officially become a sport like any other?

Popular music really knows how to make the meaning of kissing seem quaint beyond superfluous. "Hip-hop is more likely to be talking about oral sex than talking about kissing," notes Joe Levy, editor in chief of Blender, the music magazine whose readership skews young.

Pop tart Katy Perry's No. 1 Billboard tribute to the kiss last year proclaimed: I kissed a girl and I liked it The taste of her cherry ChapStick I kissed a girl just to try it I hope my boyfriend don't mind it This is not to say that just because pop lyrics have come a long way from "I Want to Hold Your Hand," kissing is history, Levy says. "Even in a casual hookup culture where people might advertise for assignations on Craigslist, a lot of said assignations start with kissing.

"I'm not sure because we're talking about it less in pop lyrics, it happens less or is less important. What used to start with a kiss still starts with a kiss. You just hear exactly where it went after that."

Well, yes, and fairly chaste pop lyrics do still exist. In "Fifteen," the Nashville teen idol Taylor Swift sings: 'Cause when you're 15 and somebody tells you they love you You're gonna believe them When you're 15 and your first kiss Makes your head spin 'round Nonetheless, try this zeitgeist test: See if you can find anyone under 35 who knows that "playing post office" once was a kissing game for early adolescents. Apparently it now has even less meaning than that once intensely stirring at-the-door moment: the goodnight kiss. Sealed With a . . .

Ten things you should know about kissing: · About two-thirds of all humans, male and female, tilt their heads to the right when kissing. It does not matter whether they are left- or right-handed.

Men think that kissing is a highly effective way to end a fight. Women think that's hooey. For once, the women are incorrect. "The evidence shows," Gallup says, that "kissing is so powerful for females that even though they deny it, once it occurs, they're so affected by a kiss . . ." That they're helpless in its grip? "Yup."

· Remember those great standing kisses in old movies, where the girl demonstrates ecstasy by lifting her delicately shod tootsie behind her? That move was called "foot pop." Such as, "What we need here is more foot pop."

· The science of kissing is known as philematology. In use: "He spent his undergraduate years studying philematology." · More men than women describe a good kiss as one that involves tongue contact, saliva exchange and moaning. · After a relationship is established, women are much more likely than men to use kissing to monitor the commitment. "There is good evidence that the frequency of kissing is a pretty good barometer of the status of a relationship," Gallup says. · Kissing, of course, is not all moonlight and roses. It is implicated in the spread of mononucleosis and oral herpes. The connection to meningitis and gastric ulcers is more distant but exists.

· The hormonal and neurotransmitter cascade triggered by kissing includes adrenaline (which increases heart rate), endorphins (which produce euphoria), oxytocin (which helps development attachment), serotonin (which affects mood) and dopamine (which helps the brain process emotions). Your heart rate increases, your blood vessels dilate, your body receives more oxygen, and then, well, all sorts of other parts of your body kick in. Your earlobes swell.

When kissing, cortisol levels drop for both sexes, meaning that kissing does in fact reduce stress. During kissing-under-laboratory conditions, oxytocin rises for males but unexpectedly drops for females. Neuroscientist Wendy Hill speculates this means that to bond, females may require a more romantic atmosphere than the experimental setting provided. Hill is scheduled to present a paper at the American Association for the Advancement of Science annual meeting titled "Kissing Chemicals: Hormonal Changes in Responses to Kissing," today, Valentine's Day. Awww.

· Very few creatures other than humans are great kissers. The marked exceptions are our close relatives the chimpanzees and bonobos. Chimps are huge believers in kissing-and-making-up after conflict. But bonobos need no excuse. In "Our Inner Ape," Emory University primatologist Frans de Waal tells of a zookeeper not used to working with that crowd. Upon accepting a kiss from one of his new friends, "The keeper was understandably taken aback when he felt the bonobo's tongue in his mouth," de Waal writes. The Kiss-Off?

There is no doubt that as a recreational activity, kissing has competition. "The kids who are less advanced, not living life in the fast lane, dating later, being high school juniors before their first relationship -- those are the kids who are still rolling around on the couch, kissing," says Rosanne Tobey, a family therapist who is a frequent contributor to MomLogic.com. "The others, who are sneaking out of the house because some boy calls at some random hour of the night, well -- the one who sneaks out at 2 a.m. is not going to roll on somebody's couch. There are no studies, but definitely I see this split."

There are indeed few if any hard data, but that just underscores how far kissing has fallen, says Bill Albert, chief program officer of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. "Kissing isn't categorized in this notion of what's intimate" in, for example, the Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System of the Centers for Disease Control, Albert observes. "Nobody thinks kissing is worth noting." Yet if you suggest to 20- and 30-something women -- most particularly women -- that they may have spent a lesser portion of their lives necking than previous generations, you encounter unexpectedly fierce resistance.

Conduct the experiment yourself. Ask the decline-of-kissing question in the context of the celebrated "hookup" culture. Experience the ferocity. Hmmmm. Add it to the list. What does that mean?

An exceptionally large number of Style staffers were eager to demonstrate their expertise in this subject by contributing to this report.