Does True Love Exist ?
Does true love really exist? You may say to yourself, of course it does. But does it really in this day and age? The word love is used far too often today. People love everything, don't they?But the problem is, the meaning of true love gets lost in all the rhetoric.
To really love someone is a statement of fact. A statement that is serious, and brings with it many consequences. Does anyone out there understand the true ramifications of saying that you love someone?
In my research, I can tell you I have read so many letters of heartbreak, it's enough to sit down with a box of tissue, and a case of beer! Some of these stories that I have read are unbearable to read when you see the grief and mourning some of these people have shared, male and female, of lost love.
The term true love is used loosely. Instead of saying I like that person. They are really nice. The term love is used as if in passing. People today spend time with a person, they date, and maybe spend most of their time with this person. And that's nice if you are on the dating scene. The problem being, is that although this person may like you and spend a great deal of time with you, and you like them a lot, somewhere down the line, probably in the heat of passion, someone tells someone that they love them.
You can feel very close to someone, and like them a lot, but that word should not be used unless you are ready to commit yourself to that person! And that is not the case most of the time.
If you would possibly think of dating another if the opportunity presented itself, then you don't love the person you are with.
If you are willing to break up over a disagreement, then you don't love the person you are with.
If you are not willing to work things out, then you are not in love.
If you do not love this person, unconditionally, then you are not in love.
If you are not willing to compromise, then you are not in love.
If you are not willing to accept baggage in whatever form from your partner, then you are not in love.
And no, they are not your true love!
When you tell someone you love them, you are committing yourself. If you don't want to be committed, then the word love should never be brought up in conversation. Any conversation!
People date through their lives and tell multiple partners they love them. Or they will them that they are their true love. But in reality, they would leave if they found someone more interesting. Is that true love? I don't think so.
In the mean time, the people you have told that you loved have to pay the price for your cruelness. If you, down deep in your heart, told that person you loved them, then you just don't pick up and leave when the first pretty face walks by, male or female.
There are always going to be attractive people that cross your path in life. But when you tell someone that you love them, yes you can notice that this person is attractive, but you move on with your true love.
When you don't, and when you say the word love, instead of like, what you do to the other half of this relationship is terrible. You break another person's heart so badly that you make them physically sick. Why would you do that to someone?
You aren't the one who got hurt, and probably didn't think twice about breaking up with this person. What kind of person are you?? You see, in a relationship, one person always loves a little more then the other. And the one that gets dumped is the one that loved more it seems.
If you are dating someone, and DO NOT plan to become one, get married, and so on, then you should keep the love words to yourself. By doing this, you are telling the person that you enjoy spending time with, is just that. They are just a person you enjoy spending time with. Then, the other half of this relationship can decide if they want to continue this relationship. Maybe they won't?? Maybe they are in it for the long haul and maybe they love you a lot.
If you are honest about how you feel from the start, then relationships may not last so long once they realize how the other feels. And then, people won't spend a lot of time in that relationship if they know it's not going anywhere. Also, the hurt and the pain of a break up will be much less if everyone is truthful from the start.
You always hear of someone taking their life because they were so in love with someone after they broke up. Can you imagine what that feeling of hurt and desperation must feel like? Does true love exist? I guess if you asked me today I would say no. "True like" exists no doubt. The term true love is used to easily without knowing or understanding its true meaning.
True love is supposed to mean something. Telling someone you love them, and them saying it back to you,is supposed to be a beginning of your lives together. Just don't tell someone you love them, unless you plan to make it permanent.
You can tell your special person you really like them. You can tell that person that they make you happy. You can tell that person all the nice things you want, and they probably deserve. But true love should be kept out of the conversation until you are ready to speak the words and mean them.
These are not dating words! These are serious and life altering words. Don't play with other people's heart. We only have one heart, and the heart can be a very fragile thing. When I read these letters and one person is telling their true love how much they love them, and please come back, you can feel their pain in every sentence they write. True love? I don't think so.
It was "true like" in these cases. They used the word love as if it meant nothing at all. And if you have ever know love in your life, then you know the difference. Do most people stay together for life as days of yester years? Or do we all marry as a "long term date" and when things get tough we breakup?
And then we go from true love to unrequited love.
I want you to date, and have fun with each other. Support one another, and enjoy one another, with eyes wide open. Tell them you really like them. But don't tell them you love them, as true "love remembers".
I found a letter on the internet that I thought would be appropriate here.
As we go through these love cycles. Dating/breakup/dating/breakup. I love you, I'm not in love with you. Our hearts get broken, they heal some, but we're never fully back to the way we once were. Think back to your first love. How did you feel about them? Weren't you totally infatuated with them, thought the world would never go on without them. Sure, most of that was probably just being young and stupid. But really, isn't that maybe part of being in love?
When you're young, you are more willing to change. You haven't started your life alone yet. You don't have your set ways of doing things, dishes go here, knives go in the rack this way, towels have to be folded like this, dinner is at such and such time. You are you, but you have not set these annoying traits that will probably stick with you for the rest of your life.
Our first love you're open and vulnerable, you give that person everything, you trust them fully. You're not afraid to tell them that you love them or that they mean so much to you. But when it's all over. That person takes a little bit of your trust with them, a little bit of your heart. You eventually get over it and move on. Maybe in a few days, maybe in a few weeks, maybe it takes years. Your next love comes along and you open up to them. But how do you really feel about them?
You're not as trusting as you once were, you're not as infatuated, you're not as emotionally open. You're starting to get those traits built into you as you live your life. You're not as willing to compromise to make them happy. You're only out to fulfill yourself and not fully about making each other happy.
As we move from relationship to relationship, sexual experience to sexual experience, love to love. Each of those takes a little bit of your heart, a little bit of your trust, a little bit of your lust. Until when? Until what? What are you left with?
As we age as we love as we lose we become rigid, cold and hard. We're unwilling to make those sacrifices that we once were. My life is all about me now. My way of doing things, my way of living, my way of loving.
Eventually we find someone. Someone we do care about and love, someone that will do for a while, but what's left of us to give to that person? We've become bitter and emotionally lost from our previous bad experiences. We don't share as much as we should between each other, we don't trust one another 100%, we don't make love, we have sex. That may last a year, 5 years, 10 years. But will it last forever.
Will our generation ever see the love that our grandparents have? Will we all be celebrating our 50 years together, or our 50 years apart?
Our love is never ending, but it's also limited.
Today, we're to willing to just throw away love. Our spark is dying, so I don't love you any more. We have a few fights, s o I don't love you any more. I'm not as attracted to you as I once was, so I don't love you any more. It's to much work, so I don't love you any more... So what is love?