Willing To Settle?
Are you willing to settle for the person of your dreams, just to have a partner or spouse? I hope not, but let me clear up a few things here.
What prompted this page was an article I read about a woman who wrote a book that was titled Mr Right, or Mr Good Enough, or something like that. Before you start going down that path, not that you were going to, let me have a few minutes of your time.
I'm not a pessimistic or an optimistic person. I am a realistic person, and what I will tell you is a little dose or reality. Take it for what it's worth as you will be the one making your own decisions.
Let's get a couple of truths out of the way first so all of this makes some sense to you, ok?
Self worth and confidence are remarkable attributes to have in this world we live in. Feeling good about yourself is great, and generally what brings people into depression when there is lack in that area of their personality. These traits are invaluable and let's face it, if you don't love yourself, who else will?
That being said, no matter how much self worth and confidence you have, you still need to face reality. So lets say your idea of Mr or Ms Right is a grocery list full of everything that most people would consider. And as far as your concerned, they are a ten, without a doubt. What ever your grocery list of qualities you would have for this "ideal" life partner I am sure is an long and extensive list.
So let me ask you a question. Do you have all the qualities in that grocery list? YOU DON'T !! So what makes you think that a person with all these qualities is going to want you?? There aren't willing to settle either! Just being realistic here.
This brings me in mind of the ever popular web site Craigslist. Did you ever read some of the ads some people place here for a partner? A woman may write in and say they want a man that has to be over six foot tall, handsome, financially comfortable, with a great personality, a full head of hair, etc. Then they describe themselves, as a big woman, at two hundred and forty pounds and wants to be wined and dined, etc.
No offense, and I do hope you feel good about yourself and have a lot of self confidence, but "realistically" that guy you just described that you wanted does not need, or go on, Craigslist, or any other dating site! Do you really think he has to? He has women continually throwing themselves at him and they are an eight, nine, or ten! Tens date tens! Tens don't date fours! Period.
You can feel as good as you want, no matter your gender, you still have to be realistic. I think Jennifer Aniston is the cat's meow! But realistically, I know I am a six. Period! She is not going to be looking in my direction.
Does that mean I am willing to settle? No, not at all. It is what it is. We all "should know" realistically the just how attractive we are. And no magic mirrors here. I saw a picture of a person in an ad that was a three of four and she wrote this ad describing George Clooney! You can't be serious?
This is not being willing to settle! This is being realistic. People tend to migrate toward the degree of attractiveness, social and financial standing as themselves. It's just common sense. Finding someone in your ballpark, that sincerely loves you, and you them, is not settling. Nobody should ever settle on the love of their life.
Never settle for the love in your life. The article I went on to say that if people didn't settle, they would possibly never find someone in their lives, maybe never have a partner or marry, let alone having children. Just be realistic and you will be fine.
There is nothing better then to have a loving person, by your side, "unconditionally" for your life. And Mr or Ms Right very well may not be tens, and that's ok, because they will be tens to you. Finding someone that will be there for you, treat you right, desire you, and love you, is as right as it gets!
Willing to settle? I don't think so. But you can't have unrealistic expectations either. That person doesn't have to work on Wall St, or be a Scientist, and they don't have to look like movie stars either. Love is the whole package.
So the next time your out for an evening, and someone walks up to you to say hello, give them a chance to say hello and chat a moment. That's not willing to settle. After all, the reason they came up was they thought you were attractive.
Maybe you are going by just their looks, or how large their wallet is. Don't! There are many people out there looking for a partner, but if never give anyone a chance to get to know you, and you them, you are just cheating yourself.
Loneliness is the worst feeling in the world. But don't be willing to settle for that reason. You will find your true love if you give people a chance, as love remembers.
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