and the change of the breadwinner role
For many, many years, the man was considered the breadwinner of the family. Working women have slowly, but surely, assumed that role in many circumstances. Three quarters of the lay offs in this recession were men.
But what happens at home? Yes, everyone is grateful that money is coming into the home to survive. But, does this affect their relationship? Many times it does.
It is ingrained in a man to be the breadwinner and take care of his family. It is something that has been there for centuries. It is a responsibility that take seriously and proudly. But what happens when working women become the main income producer? When this is taken from a man, it rattles his sense of self worth generally. They get embarrassed when their friends find out, and they start to feel worthless.
It is important that a strong relationship exists. This may not be from the recession, but in years to come could be the "norm". And personally, I feel that in 50% of the working women, this will happen.
As a man you have to be secure in the relationship you have with yourself. And you need to be proud of the accomplishments your spouse has achieved. Your wife would be there to support you and be proud of your accomplishments. It is acceptance that seems to be the hard part, but when doing so, it is good for everyone involved.
Many times though, it puts a strain on your relationship. Women who work are fine as long as they don't cross certain lines, many men feel. It is a change. Talk about it with each other and find reality. Love shouldn't go away because who makes what. It is about how you love that person, and the reasons you are together.
On the other hand, working women that are the breadwinners are grateful their family has not hit bottom. Thank goodness she was able to achieve this, or "who knows" what would have happened. But for some women, like men, their thoughts of a man being the breadwinner has been ingrained in their thought also.
As success is determined by the amount of money you make these days, and not personal success, sometimes some working women look at their spouse in a different way. As not successful, not the breadwinner, not someone to depend on. They too may seem to look at their spouse not as responsible, and may lose respect for them. After all, why does she need him now?
Again, as described earlier, this comes down to why you love each other. Was it because "he was" the breadwinner. Because you make more money do you love him less? Is he less then what you thought a short time ago?
These are all relationship questions, not income questions. Your relationship has to be strong to endure all sorts of changes in life, and believe me there will be plenty. One thing you can depend on is "change", and our ability to roll with it.
If this type of problem is affecting your relationship with working women in your home, talk about it. Tell each other about your concerns, and fears. Getting out out in the open and finding out what each other needs to feel good about themselves and your relationship is important. Don't fight, become bitter, and lose the person you said " I do" too, as love remembers.
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